Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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