physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
