I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
