redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
