i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
How's work?
Spinning.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
