Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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