i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
