he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think I sprained my soul last night
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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