I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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