i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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