i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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