Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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