Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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