I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
