I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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