We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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