I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
