Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
