This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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