Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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