not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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