You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
