does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
