also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
