I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
