What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
