Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
