Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
