The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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