Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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