apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize