Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
