Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
