theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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