would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
