your thong is hanging out like whoa
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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