Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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