Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
