Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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