You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
