i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize