My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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