Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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