yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
