Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
