Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
