the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
