So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
