this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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