Sponge bath it is.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
