Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
