so that wasnt chicken after all
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
