We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
