Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
3 2 1 whiskey
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
