your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The struggles of a small town man whore
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
