Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
