..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
