Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
