dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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