you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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