kristin has been a bad kristin
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
