Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
