She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
