I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
