Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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