dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
