Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize